Earth: It takes a licking and keeps on ticking

Fred becomes aware of intense shivering as he pries open his frozen eyes. There against the cave wall lies Wilma, hogging the mammoth skin again. She deserves a clubbing for this. But presently, work calls.

Walking down to the stream, Fred senses heat shot on the back of his neck and turns to see the fireball rising. Soon, warmth floods over him. In 15,000 years, Fred’s and Wilma’s descendants will call the fireball “Sol,” sun of “Earth.” Sol—without which no creature, not one living cell, would exist. Today’s story will paint Sol as a villain.

It depends on what the meaning of the word “cooler” is

Leading environmentalists have issued a warrant for the arrest of Mother Nature. Her offense? The nasty lady has been snowing on people in order to prevent them from noticing how they are being baked alive. It was also discovered that daylight is increasing. The Church of Global Warming predicts that unless we reverse this trend, daylight will exceed 24 hours and warming will spiral out of control. A Church spokesperson offers, “Yup.”

An Associated Press reporter calls global warming a “ticking time bomb” and warns that we must “curb the gases” that cause it. Word on the street is that the reporter also wants to “curb” aggression by confiscating crystals that cause bad vibes.

Meanwhile, the Alps have their best snow “in a generation.” America set 63 snowfall and 115 low temperature records for October. But temperature doctor James Hansen, who runs NASA’s Goddard Institute for Space Studies, doesn’t seem to allow such data inside his massive cerebral cortex. Reusing September data for two months running, Hansen’s people announced that this past October was the hottest October ever. When the error was exposed, the GISS folks deployed a diversion, claiming that an Arctic “hotspot” was developing even as satellite data showed ice coverage 30 percent ahead of previous year.

In December when Sulphur Springs, Montana shattered their all-time low temperature record by dipping to 29-below, COGW’s Pope Al Gore thanked the Norse Goddess Hlin for the omen of warming yet to come.

With the new century’s cooling erasing last century’s warming, the absense of evidence for CO2being a driver for “global warming,” and a quiet sun, warmists are growing panicky. Last time the sun appeared as subdued as it is currently was the “Little Ice Age” (1350 to 1850). At one point during that period, people walked on ice from Staten Island to Manhattan. Upper Westsiders are getting nervous at the prospect of “those people” in their neighborhood.

A Hoover Institution study concludes, “…try as we might, we simply could not find any relationship between industrial activity, energy consumption and changes in global temperatures.” “Try” to “find” a “relationship?” To liberals, declaring something so makes that something so. Liberal Guiding Principle No. 1: Agenda trumps reality. Noble goals justify deception.

Warm arrogance 

By scaring people into believing that humanity’s CO2 heats Earth’s climate, warmists can institute “cap and trade” schemes and fines for “excessive” emissions. Enlightened investors will use C&T income to fund noble work: economically crippling countries whose industries produce moderate amounts of the evil gas and redistributing the confiscated wealth to “less fortunate” countries to finance industries that will produce humongous amounts of the same evil gas as well as other more nefarious actual pollutants.

President-elect Obama has asked Pope Al for doctrinal guidance. Will Obama ignore the First Amendment’s call for no law respecting an establishment of religion? The Chosen One has already labeled global warming “an opportunity” and said Gore will “play a central part in us figuring out how we solve this problem.” Clergy will set government policy? Portuguese environmental scientist Delgado Domingos observes, “Creating an ideology pegged to carbon dioxide is a dangerous nonsense… The present alarm on climate change is an instrument of social control, a pretext for major businesses and political battle.” Alarmism also makes for lively scripture analysis during Tuesday night prayer circles.

Lordie be, where will this lead?

To the door of Carol Browner, Obama’s “Energy Czar.”

Browner is ready to force her boss’s agenda unless there’s “some sort of agreement reached with Congress on how to move legislation.” Bypass the people’s representatives? Barack Obama wants “nothing less than the complete transformation of our economy,” with penalties for spewers of CO2—which didn’t cause that warming that’s no longer happening. Our messiah will also eliminate murders committed with staple guns by fining sugar producers that sell to office workers.

Will industry embrace Barack’s vision? The President-Elect promises that his “cap-and-trade system” will make electricity rates “skyrocket.” Obama will “[cap] greenhouse gasses, coal power plants, natural gas… you name it…,” which will require industry to “retro-fit their operations.” Utility companies will recoup the resulting costs from customers. Those customers will spend large chunks of what remains of their income on utility bills after Democrats take what’s needed to fund health care, Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, unemployment benefits, alternative energy, illegal immigrant aid, public preschool, bail-outs, economic stimuli, repayment of a gazillion-dollar debt, wealth redistribution, and teaching middle-schoolers how to apply condoms to bananas.

The Wall Street Journal observes that Obama’s EPA will regulate “everything with an engine,” even “lawn and garden equipment.” Zealots will tax fossil fuel power “out of existence.” Not just energy, but most prices will skyrocket as “huge economic costs of the new regime” slam into consumers. If legislation doesn’t yield what Obama desires, he’ll have his EPA reclassify carbon as a pollutant and regulate it without a single vote, fining the bejeezus out of violators until they comply.

Will we comply?

Obama has summoned additional help just in case. Energy Secretary appointee and tree-hugger Steven Chu wants to reduce fossil fuels to stop global warming. To show concern, Chu posed for a Vanity Fairphoto in a tree at UC Berkeley. This grandstanding activist will occupy a position of power from which he can act on his yearning to stop a phenomenon by addressing something that doesn’t cause it. Chu once lamented that homes can be made energy efficient for $1,000, “but the American consumer would rather have a granite countertop.” Superior liberal judgmentalism is an ugly thing.

Investor’s Business Daily reports that “the UN is telling the world that only nuts on the fringe question dismantling the global economy to fight global warming.” Where but at Club UN can be found such arrogant liars hell-bent on falsehood-based agendas that ignore massive downsides? In America, we call the liars “Democrats.” Given the power, the UN wouldn’t blink at slapping America back to the 19thcentury to “level the playing field” for undeveloped nations. The UN’s enlightened ones and Democrats run on mindless liberalism—a redundant term when you think about it.

Democrat Barbara Boxer, warmist bishop and chair of the Senate Committee on Environment and Public Works, promises bills promoting “energy efficiency as an economic stimulus” and “a cap-and-trade system to reduce greenhouse gas emissions from utilities.” Yet what Boxer’s promise would become in reality would be government regulations and fines that strangle energy production, raising electricity prices so high that few could afford sufficient quantities of power to heat and cool their houses to decently comfortable levels.

To bring a nightmare such as Boxer’s to fruition, Obama promises to whack utilities and industry hard enough to reduce greenhouse gases to 1905 levels. I will name my horse “Einstein.” My Arizona desert home will be “Hell.”

Throughout the Obama Presidency, there will be plenty pressure on Obama to veer leftward. One group has already demanded that he radicalize American energy policy in his first hundred days with environmental policies shaped by “green” laws based on ideological hooey. The group wants nuclear energy funding cut, no new drilling, and recent Alaskan oil leases rescinded. The “strategy” boils down to the pursuit of pie-in-the-sky “alternatives” after killing off the sure things which Americans already have. One group, Defenders of Wildlife, sees these dreamy tactics as “opportunity to right the wrongs of the past.”


In the liberal “mind,” it’s wrong to make decisions using objective data. We should substitute feel-good science and economics for truth and logic, much like spending bazillions on “public works” to “create jobs” that will “jump-start the economy.”

The wrath of con meets reality and sanity

An enlightened oracle recently warned of the “wrath of an altered climate.” Oops, have we angered some goddess? The Polish Minister of the Environment says that humankind has “reached the limits” of planet Earth. No data, no science. Progressive thinkers merely declare true what they imagine to be true. Maciej Nowicki envisions “huge droughts and floods, cyclones with increasingly more destructive power, pandemics of tropical disease, dramatic decline of biodiversity, increasing ocean levels.” This man forecasts “armed conflict and migration of people at an unprecedented scale.” Liberal “thinking”, the gift that keeps on giving. Mental dwarfism and emotional gigantism highlight Nowicki as a candidate for a Church of Global Warming cardinalship.

Nowicki claims that global warming will murder up to 30 percent of species. Liberals are kicking themselves for not heading off the calamity by outlawing campfires to stop the ice sheets from melting 11,600 years ago.

Dogmatists pushing Church doctrine have a teensy-weensy problem: reality. Atmospheric scientist Stanley Goldenberg with the Hurricane Research Division of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration calls the claims of a global warming consensus “a blatant lie put forth in the media that makes it seem there is only a fringe of scientists who don’t buy into [manmade] global warming.” Geologist David Gee, chair of the International Geological Congress science committee, asks, “For how many years must the planet cool before we begin to understand that the planet is not warming?” When asked to comment from his living room, Pope Al muddled something unintelligible under his ski mask.

Oh-oh, here come the sun

The phenomenon known as “sunspots” nearly disappeared three times within the last millennium. The Maunder Minimum triggered the Little Ice Age, which followed the “Medieval Warm Period (A.D. 900 to 1300). Warmism being still 700 years in the future, no one called that heat-up “unprecedented.” With the Thames freezing over, who’d have listened? Since then, humankind has progressed. Pope Al, Bishop Barbara Boxer, agenda “scientists” chasing grant funding, and the Chosen One righteously spread fear while sunspots settle at their lowest in a century. We should call this the “Gore Minimum,” in which “cooling” is redefined as “warming.”

Let’s take a close look at some real science.

Physicist Henrik Svensmark showed that cosmic rays—energetic particles from deep space—enhance cloud development.

Why is this important?

  1. The magnetic fields of Earth and sun shield out many cosmic rays which would otherwise reach us.
  2. The more sunspots, the more intense the sun’s magnetic field.
  3. So when sunspots increase, the intensified magnetic field allows in fewer cosmic rays which form fewer clouds.
  4. With fewer clouds, less solar energy is reflected and we heat up.
  5. When sunspots decrease, the weakened field allows in more cosmic rays which form more clouds.
  6. With more clouds, more solar energy is reflected and we cool down.

Svensmark’s critics have done what agenda-driven ideologues typically do: Use only data that support their agenda. Warmist research regularly emulates Michael Mann’s discredited 1998 and 1999 “studies.”1 Mann omitted the Medieval Warm Period, Little Ice Age, and other unfriendly data. The agenda scientist also heavily weighted “appropriate” temperatures in order to concoct major warming at the end of the 20th century—the infamous “hockey stick” trend which Pope Al has tattooed on his, um…

In early 2008, Kenneth Tapping, solar researcher for Canada’s National Research Council, predicted that if sunspots stayed low Americans would get lots of cold and snow. The weather in Las Vegas, Malibu, Seattle, New Orleans, and most of the country obliged.

Real scientists describe reality using data and logic. Warmists shiver to the heat of a different drum.

●  With many sunspots, we warm up. Ice caps and glaciers shrink. Warmists divine that we are murdering the planet.
●  With few sunspots, we cool down. Ice caps and glaciers grow. Warmists redefine “cooler” as “warmer,” “grow” as “shrink,” and divine that we are murdering the planet.
●  Meanwhile, CO2 emissions increase 70 percent since 1970, and yet average temperature is now about the same as it was back then.

But nothing factual fazes warmists. Recently, Fox News’s Neil Cavuto grinned as one zealot claimed that cold and snow signal global warming. The zealot left before he could elaborate. Those Earth to Krypton shuttle ships don’t wait for stragglers.

As snow fell on New Orleans, a discussion board post read: “Actually, this would help to support global warming… it is a total climate change, so warmer summers and colder winters in areas that aren’t used to it [sic].” Ah, Ignoramusus Maximus. This kind of stunning stupidity is similar to the liberal take on crime: Counseling works better than incarceration, even though incarceration works better than counseling. An AP writer helps: 2008, although colder than most years, takes its place in a “steadily rising temperature trend line.” Coldness “actually illustrates how fast the world is warming.” I’ve also heard that Democrats will require that when stocks both rise and drop, investors make money, except for people already earning more than $250,000 a year.

The Italian guy scores but gets slapped down

The Catholic Church punished Galileo for proving that Earth is not the center of the universe. Warmism’s CO2 obsession has a similar smell.

Atmospheric physicist S. Fred Singer and Hudson Institute’s Dennis Avery studied research which naturally explains late 20th century warming. The two men point to 600 warming/cooling cycles over the last million years. Most damning to the CO2 claim is that these 1500-year cycles occur “on schedule whether CO2 levels [are] high or low.”2 But the Church of Global Warming condemns evidence that disproves doctrine. One Pope and gangs of pouting clerics are not amused by serious evidence.

Willie Soon of the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics commits blasphemy by showing that Arctic temperatures correlate extremely well with solar activity but not at all with CO2. That darned sun. Nir Shaviv of Hebrew University’s Racah Institute of Physics and Ján Veizer of Ruhr University’s Institute of Geology, Mineralogy and Geophysics find no correlation between CO2 and climate cycles. CO2 was much higher than present during a glacial period.

Where’s the Spanish Inquisition when you need it?

R. Timothy Patterson, director of Ottawa-Carleton Geoscience Center, concludes that by 2020, with the sun becoming its weakest in 200 years, we’ll see “unusually cool conditions on Earth.” Yet Pope Al and the Chosen One plot to cool us further. The new movie will be called The Damned Big Chill, or, Fooled Ya—Here’s the ReallyInconvenient Truth.

Warmists’ claims weaken each time real scientists look into those claims. Oleg Sorokhtin of the Russian Academy of Natural Sciences points out that greenhouse gases don’t regulate temperature closest to the ground. Data show that warming is the cause, rising CO2 the effect. Heated oceans release gas. CO2 concentrations lagtemperatures by centuries. Most inconvenient. In response, Pope Al screeched, “What we are claiming is impossible? So? Noni noni noni!”

Press Release: Using “cause is effect and effect is cause” reasoning, we can now surmise that by driving irresponsible lending practices, Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, Barney Frank, and other “fairness” mongers caused the Dark Ages.

Surely everyone agrees

In 2008’s “Manhattan Declaration,” 500-plus scientists report “no convincing evidence” that CO2 ever caused or will cause “catastrophic climate change.” A 2008 Senate Environment and Public Works Committee minority report quotes more than 650 international scientists challenging claims by Pope Al and the UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. When 51,000 Canadian scientists were queried, seven in ten dismissed the claim that the science is “settled.” With Gitmo probably closing, where will the Church put so many deniers until the heretics find enlightenment?

Let’s take a breather and summarize our facts.

  1. Humankind’s CO2 has not caused atmospheric warming.
  2. Physical evidence shows that CO2 has repeatedly risen centuries after temperature has risen.
  3. Science does not operate by consensus.
  4. Furthermore, there is no consensus on global warming.
  5. One person bearing truth erases the ravings of countless ideologues.
  6. Variations in average temperature in fact correlate with variations in the behavior of the sun.

So then, warmists need to find something to protect their dogma.

Enter, Richard Nevle and Dennis Bird. These “scientists” claim that the Little Ice Age occurred because Europeans wiped out native North Americans, allowing previously cultivated farmland to reforest and soak up CO2, thus chilling the planet. Hollywood wants Nevle and Bird to write sitcoms. Pope Al wants the two faux-scientists for open bishop slots. But in order to qualify for such lofty Church positions, the men will have the demonstrate the ability to distract churchgoers from certain truths:

●  Warmists armed with no confirming data engage in pure speculation.
●  Warmists have reliably predicted nothing.
●  The real science practiced by global warming “deniers” better explains our planet’s climate.
●  Global warmists make claims based entirely on biased computer models.

That’s right. For instance, models like the ones used by warmists to forecast hurricanes constitute a scientific joke. “Accumulated Cyclone Energy” models routinely miss by 50 percent. (Warmists would kill for this good of a track record.) Climate statistician William Briggs, member of the American Meteorological Society’s Probability and Statistics Committee, and Associate Editor of Monthly Weather Review, explains: “A modeler starts with the hypothesis that CO2 traps heat, describes an equation for this… and then runs the model twice, once at ‘pre-industrial’ levels of CO2, and once at twice that level…” Lo and behold, “the later simulation gives a warmer atmosphere!” Briggs chuckles that “somehow, the fact the model shows just what it was programmed to show is used as evidence that the assumptions underlying the model were correct.” Briggs observes that “this is backwards.” But flawless logic is lost on logical train wrecks—warmists.

According to Christopher Booker of England’s Daily Telegraph, some warmists actually admit that “natural factors” prevent temperatures from rising as models foretell, but they “assure us” that our cooling is “masking the underlying warming trend.” Earth’s atmosphere will soon heat up “worse than ever.” This is like saying, “We can rehabilitate child abusers. The fact that the scumbags unremittingly abuse kids masks the underlying chance that they will stop.” Standard liberal rubbish.

Geologist David Deming points to an average temperature today the same as in 1980. “…sea level has stopped rising. Hurricane and cyclone activity in the Northern Hemisphere is at a 24-year low and sea ice globally is also the same as it was in 1980.” Certainly all harbingers of catastrophe.

Weasels wielding wealth redistribution 

Panic mongering global warmists have resorted to out-and-out lying.

Though satellite data verify that ice coverage is about where it was twenty-eight years ago, an Associate Press article claims that Arctic ice is melting so quickly that “scientists” fear it will “disappear entirely by the summer of 2040.” Gore foresees drowning Manhattanites. For giggles, let’s say all ice floating on all oceans melts. Ocean levels would… drum roll… FALL! Water expands as it freezes and therefore floats because it is less dense than liquid water. Ice displaces underlying water equal to the ice’s weight. After ice melts, it displaces less water—an amount equal only to its volume. Pope Al’s “scientists” ignore buoyancy principles discovered 2,200 years ago by Archimedes.

Another AP article claims that the ten warmest years happened since 1996—which is not true even using “enhanced” data from the Pope’s chief consort, NASA weasel James Hansen. Hansen sets new lows in science as the poster child for how notto conduct objective investigation. An extensive exposé could be dedicated to how Hansen “adjusted” temperatures to make cooling look like heating. As website creator Anthony Watts remarks, with Hansen, “What was down, is now up.” With Hansen’s shenanigans exposed, we find three, not all, of the ten warmest years occurring since 1996. Five were in the 1920s and 30s.

Ideological gall knows no limit. In a letter to President-Elect Obama (addressed to “Dear Michelle and Barack”), Hansen recommends taxing carbon emissions to force Americans into “lifestyle choices” that support the Hansen worldview. Paragon of virtue Hansen—as proved by his honest data reporting—is apparently also an economic genius. Raise taxes during a major recession? FDR did precisely that in the 1930s and turned a recession into the Great Depression. Hansen wants to force a personal agenda using the power of government. He wants tax proceeds redistributed in “equal shares on a per capita basis.” High earners would pay more tax than received by way of redistribution, while low earners would receive higher redistribution than paid in taxes. Investor’s Business Daily observes that zealots like Hansen seek “an egalitarian society where conspicuous consumption is limited to the few who make the rules.”

One writer claims, “Rich countries are historically to blame for most of today’s warming. … Developing countries, meanwhile, want the West to help pay for them to expand their economies…” There it is—global wealth redistribution. Clear thinkers must not doubt that this is the endgame for most manmade global warming zealots.

Walk boldly and exude hysteria

A Boston Globe staff writer is incensed at a US military report that acknowledges the unsettled nature of the causes and effects of climate change. The reporter praises a group of believers that spread fear over “the cascading effects of global warming—including drought, flooding, population flows, and disease epidemics…” Our writer seems to have forgotten herds of roaches fleeing submerged Manhattan basements. The panic-mongers are fighting on with zero evidence and faulty science. The Globe reporter summarizes one fanatic’s position: “…it remains worrisome that some in the military command responsible for helping prepare for future dangers still appear to question the science of why global warming is occurring.” Damned infidels.

Just how far are warmists willing to go to shut down non-believers? Government force backed by financial penalties, imprisonment? Will congressional Democrats and the Chosen One, through his various executive agency minions, force Americans to do the redistributionist Church of Global Warming’s bidding?

Indeed, some Brits want an international court to “fine countries or companies that fail to protect endangered species or degrade the natural environment…” They call for “a convention on the right to a healthy environment.” A lovely fiction—the “right to a healthy environment.” Decide what everyone should have, declare it a “right,” and create a legal convention to enforce it.

Warmism, denial, and dishonesty go hand-in-hand. Whatever’s accessible, media-hype-able, and creates fear—that’s what liberals latch onto for control over the lives of others.

Humankind’s total contribution to atmospheric CO2 is 0.017 percent of the total CO2 in our atmosphere. Our industrial emissions increase the atmosphere’s heat absorption by 0.00064 percent.

Manmade global warming is pure junk science. If we shut down every power plant, factory, and internal combustion engine on the planet, we’d have negligible effect on temperature. But the get-back-to-our-roots, level-the-playing-field, “green” crowd would surely feel good.

1 Ross McKitrick, “The Mann et al. Northern Hemisphere ‘Hockey Stick’ Climate Index: a Tale of Due Diligence,” essay in Shattered Consensus: the True State of Global Warming, Patrick J. Michaels, ed., Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, 2005, pp. 20-49.
2 S. Fred Singer and Dennis T. Avery, Unstoppable Global Warming: Every 1,500 Years, Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc., 2007, p. 4.

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