Category archive: Liberalism

Inattentive in class

I thought I’d snuck the sketch of the fighter jet over to Frank Reese without her seeing me do it. But, “Wham!” That wooden ruler slams my knuckles. Sister Mary Aquinas runs a tight third grade. I’ll get home late, again, because I’ll be held for detention, again, because the nun caught me screwing off, […]

From the office of the author-elect

Tears streaming from eyes and steam blasting from ears. I must be quite a sight. Pei Wei Asian Diner is a sort-of-Chinese restaurant where the Hispano-Chinese wok techs sometimes get the spice ratios out of whack. As I cool my pipes with some Chai iced-tea, diners are tortured by two poseur brainiacs holding forth on […]

Liberals bark, Pavlov cringes

Our dog Belle used to hemorrhage saliva when we pulled out the popcorn popper. Physiologist Ivan Pavlov and his drooling pooch explained the phenomenon a hundred years ago. Animals need but an indication that a familiar event is about to occur in order to be caused to act certain that the event will occur. Any […]

Conservatism’s window of opportunity opens again

The 1930s: America turns left during the Great Depression. December 7, 1941: A entire people fixate on a goal. The 1960s: LBJ’s left turn after JFK’s assassination. November 4, 1980: Ronald Reagan euthanizes Carter’s presidency and interrupts Johnson’s feel-good failures to remind Americans that people must experience life how they choose, not by government fiat. […]

Conservatism in the age of Obama

Congratulations to President-Elect Obama. And life goes on. Our 74 percent centrist-conservative country has not seen a conservative major party presidential candidate since 1984. John McCain struggled to impersonate a conservative, eventually summoning help from the Great White North. After his eight-year presidency, we must at least thank George W. Bush for taking aggressive approaches on […]

Obama to rewrite laws of economics and human nature

Babying people is no way to grow functional adults. Wish as liberals might, some realities can never change.  Unbridled liberalism yields moral decay and breeds practitioners of self-destructive behaviors. Overly coddled people have habit of cowering before challenges, whining over discomfort, embracing government paternalism, and succumbing to dependence on that government. Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, […]

Anger mismanagement

Accuse the bigot of bigotry. Then dodge the high-velocity spittle. Praise an attractive, successful woman who role models traditional values. Then get out of the way as gangs of moral cripples spew bile at the woman and at a wholesomeness which the cripples will never comprehend. Indeed, truth inflames the zealot. Mainstream media and celebrities seem to be in […]

The hog on the Hill

Loan agents herd home mortgage applicants into screenings of the latest Hollywood assault on traditional values. In exchange for an end to the torture, the applicants sign mortgages which they know they cannot afford. Nice try, liberals. But our economic meltdown’s main driving force is the “progressive” notion that everyone deserves a home mortgage. History […]

Integrity’s moment of truth

Feel-good ideology has dealt us a mess. And sadly, it would be hard to find more arrogant, self-serving, ineffective problem solvers than the herd currently grazing Capitol Hill. Americans are witnessing historic dishonesty and unaccountability. The actions of politicians who created the subprime mortgage fiasco and of those trying to find solutions will determine whether history paints […]

America, from big apes to big oil

Did you know that fossils of fossil fuel engines prove that humankind has been screwing up the planet longer than previously thought? Those diabolical rednecks, Homo habilis, appear to have used Big Ape corporations to pollute Mother Earth long, long ago. But this is neither here nor there. Talking heads in the mainstream media relentlessly parrot […]

The Neanderthal lives

Conservatives began causing trouble 70,000 years ago when they lit huge fires to allegedly “stay warm” as Earth entered an ice age. Such clearly evil behavior foretold the whole global warming thing that eventually kicked into high gear much, much later. So we can see why UC Berkley linguistics professor George Lakoff calls conservatives “a […]

Crab envy

The daily summer thunderstorms are starting to drift over the marsh from the Gulf. My brother Harry and I heave our catch from the bayou. An old gent who’s come to gawk struggles to return his eyes to their sockets after seeing 200 pounds of Louisiana blue crabs that threaten to burst our homemade trap. “Give […]

Gulag and Gitmo both have five letters and begin with ‘G’

Of the seven hang-ups of highly effective liberals, Guiding Principle 5, right and wrong are in the eye of the beholder, carries the most destructive potential. Everything is right or wrong; everything is good or bad; nothing is right or wrong; nothing is good or bad. Later on, we’ll visit Puff the Magic Dragon before boarding our […]

Barack Obama: son of promise, child of hope

That’s the title of a children’s book about a boy who “knew he wasn’t quite like anybody else” and decided that he was meant to “bring people together.” Kids will read that “God talks to Barry,” who “knew for certain hope would last long enough for him to make a difference.” Differences? Obama says that […]

Donkeys and elephants draw flies

Eric whines, “Yeah? You stink!” This is all that he could muster after his mom’s reprimand—which didn’t even involve observations regarding Eric’s odorous properties. Americans are treated to an everyday comedy show. Liberals who are criticized for certain behaviors routinely take pot shots at unrelated Republican behaviors in response. The tactic demonstrates two thought errors. First, that […]

The strange case of Mr. McCain and the baffled biologist

While the creature’s front appears elephant-like, its rear presents a puzzle. The dazed biologist lowers her binoculars. Senator John McCain tosses around wealth envy and junk science as freely as any liberal. He wants to go after poorly performing companies that present stockholders with losses while handsomely paying their executives. McCain seeks caps on “greenhouse […]

Three flavors of fun and one bummer

Most people move from left to right throughout life, away from feel-good idealism toward coherent thought. But if one wants to be a liberal, one must use pure emotion to resist this process, known as “maturing.” Odd though it is, liberals lay claim to broad-mindedness. But blindly accepting this contention is a mistake, for nothing could […]

7 hang-ups of highly effective liberals

The modern-day sociopolitical term, “progressive,” describes that which comforts people while defying rationality. “Progressives” are the elite, bristling with ideas on how to run government and society. Affirmations reinforce a sense of superiority and show off their holiness. “Give peace a chance. War is not the answer. You can roller skate in a buffalo herd.” […]

Pages from the liberal playbook

Reality can only distract. The liberal’s job is to do whatever it takes to feel good inside. (Playbook, page 1.) Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton blast Republican inertia during the current economic downturn and call for strong government control of Wall Street. Clinton criticizes John McCain for not wanting to intervene. This is instructive. The […]